The Cold Soul Of Humanity
by Kyguy
Summary: Discord is a interesting fellow, Being of chaos and all, But he doesn't just do things at random... Well not all the time... Or does he? His whole existence is one big paradox if you think about it, Cause of what he must do to live, Is create Chaos.


'_Thought.'_

"Speech"

"**CANTERLOT VOICE**"

"*Sound effects/noises*"

"(Whisper/mumbling)"

"Speech (Whisper)"

"YELLING"

"Sign language"

'_Writing'_

* * *

**Dirt Road.**

**(Dustin's Pov)**

"Uh I'm so happy to be away from campus." I said as I drove down a dirt road in the particular of nowhere.

"Honestly, I'm shocked i'm even here." Kyler told me as he shifted a bit in the passenger seat.

"What you think I wouldn't take you to see my Brother?" I asked as I turned onto a proper road.

"That, And being in america of all places for college." Kyler told me, looking out the window.

"Your still shocked, dude we were in that place till break and your still shocked?" I rolled down my window and rested my arm on the door.

"...Yes I am." Kyler told me.

"Well don't be, listen we'll stop off at my parents house grab some water bottles and some snacks, then we hit the road for real." I told him as we got onto the highway.

"Alright, Well, What kind of snacks we talking here?" Kyler asked me, Finally, I got his full attention.

"Probably cosmic brownies, some chocolate, and a couple peanut butter bars." I said yawning. "But I wouldn't take to many of the latter mom would kill me."

"...Try and stop me." Kyler told me, Challenging me.

"Until then, Plug my phone into the radio, play whatever you want on Itunes, that I have download." I said handing him my phone.

"...Alright, fine." Kyler said as he grabbed the phone and began looking through.

* * *

**Heading to Sister's.**

**(Same Pov)**

"Okay you cannot complain your the one who kept playing country songs." I said rolling my eyes.

"THEY ARE ALL COUNTRY!" Kyler yelled in slight anger.

"NO THEY AREN'T!" I yelled swiping the phone and scrolled through to some Dj Blyatman. "Here listen to some Boris!"

"...it's better." Kyler replied, sinking into his seat.

"Dude we haven't been on the road but Three hours and your already acting like this?" I asked as a asshole drove past at top speed. _'Gotta love country.'_

"...Well yeah, It's going to rain soon." Kyler said, Gesturing to the clouds.

"Trust me it's not that bad when driving." I said rolling up my window.

"...Was it supposed to rain today?" Kyler asked me.

"Nah, but this is the country, so the weather changes all the time." I said looking up at the storm clouds. "Damn that looks really damn bad."

"...You sure the truck can handle the rain?" Kyler asked me.

"If a I'm gay mobile can handle this, Ruby can handle this." I said turning down the radio.

"...Says the man calling his Truck a she and naming it Ruby of all things to name it." Kyler commented.

"Well I don't have horse now do I?" I asked raising a brow.

"...Fucking asshole, That's all you are at times." Kyler told me in defeat.

"Thats why ya my non-blood brother." I said patting his shoulder. "Damn this rain is picking up bad."

"...How much rain can this thing take again?" Kyler asked, trying to look past the rain on the window.

"Alot." I said as I felt a rumble as I put the wipers on max. "What was that?"

"...d-did the ground just shake?" Kyler asked, Stuttering a bit.

"I can,'t-FUCK!" I yelled as a car suddenly drove in front of us crashing through the metal guard and into the forest, Slamming on the brakes I slowed to a stop along with everyone else on the road. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?"

"...I think a earthquake is going on… or a big ass foot is stepping everywhere, but, that's just stupid." Kyler commented before the road rumbled and began to split.

"Fuck the road is tearing itself to pieces!" I yelled trying to move. "FUCK I CAN'T MOVE HER!"

"THEN MOVE HER!" Kyler yelled as he held onto the only thing he could, his seat.

"I CAN'T! Ky I'm gonna see what's going on, STAY HERE!" I yelled unbuckling myself and grabbing my Stetson from the back seat. "Got it?"

"And what are you going to do with that?" Kyler asked me.

"Not get rain in my eyes." I said putting it on my head and jumped out. "FUCK IT'S RAINING HARD!"

As I moved through the rain quickly down the road, I saw cars and trucks littering the road, people were getting out with their friends and families, running for dear life the other way. "Fuck it's american godzilla… WHERES THE FUCKING FISH!?" I yelled as I swear, I saw cars in the far distance falling.

I grabbed onto a man who was running past. "Whats happening man!?"

"Listen to me kid, Run, There's a huge sinkhole and it's still getting bigger, it started one and a half miles down the road and it kept going, So RUN!" The man told me before he went back to running for his life, the wind began to pick up and I saw the clouds begin to swirl.

I begin running towards the truck, before I looked to the left and saw a woman trying to get out of her car, but something was wrong with the door. _'Shit this is like Tale tales the walking dead.'_ I ran over to the car. "MA'AM CAN YOU HEAR ME!" I yelled, to which, the woman, who had tears in her eyes nodded quickly, like if she was panicking, but could understand the situation.

"GET BACK!" I yelled as I pointed to the window and gestured to my elbow, the woman got way the hell back, grabbing my left Wrist I used the force of both of my arms to shatter the window. _'FUCK THAT HURT!' _ I used my sleeve to clear the glass. "GIVE ME YOUR HAND!" I yelled offering my hand.

"T-thank you." She said as she took my hand, and I helped her by pulling her out of the car.

"Is there anything you need from the car!" I yelled over the wind and Rain.

"N-No! I was just going for a Short Visit!" She told me, before she as quickly as she could, made her way away from the sinkhole that was gaining on me.

"Shit Ky!" I yelled running back, on my way I slammed into another person followed by slamming my arm into the rim of my Truck. "FUCK!"

Soon, I felt someone grab me and I was pulled into my truck. "Fucking hell man, What's going on out there?" I heard kyler asked me as he let go of me.

"Fucking hell, ky… we need to go now, theres a bigass sinkhole heading this way." I said just as the truck in front of us fall. "Fuck."

"...oh crap baskets." Kyler muttered right before we felt light.

"Didn't think I would die this way." I thought as I had mental breakdown in my head. _'FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!'_

* * *

**Unknown land.**

"Uuuh… wha-what happened?" I asked pulling my head off the steering wheel. "Ky?"

"...ow, my everything." Kyler muttered from somewhere out of view.

Looking to my right I saw the passenger window was open and ky was hanging in a bush and tree. "How the fuck?"

"...i have no idea… but ow… my nuts…" Kyler replied, clearly in pain.

"God my face feels weird." I rubbed my head and it felt… different._ 'What the fuck.'_ I grabbed the rearview mirror and aimed it at myself. "AAAAAAH WHAT THE FUCK!"

"...Help?" Kyler asked as I panicked before hearing a crash and the snapping of twigs.

'_What the hell is wrong, oh god WHY ME!?'_ I said as I opened my door and fell to the ground, looking at my legs and saw they were changed, bent in different direction. _'FUCK I'M SANGHEILI!'_

I checked my arms and legs. _'I'm blue… WHY!'_ moving around the Truck I saw a Red anthromorphic pony thing crawl out of the bush where kyler was. _'Oh god it ate him.'_

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK!" The thing yelled in Kyler's voice once it looked at me, and tried to get away as fast as possible.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" I yelled at the thing.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU HORSE THINGY MONSTER… THING!" It yelled at me.

"YOUR THE HORSE FURRY THING!" I yelled at it.

"NO YOU ARE!" It yelled pointing at me with it's red hand, before it looked and saw it. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHY IS MY HAND PAINTED RED!"

"It's not painted red you idiot, your fur is red!" I yelled at the idiot monster horse friend eater.

"WAIT! I HAVE FUR!?" The monster yelled before it began touching itself… not in that way. "HOLY SHIT! I HAVE FUR!"

"Give me my friend back!" I yelled pushing myself up towards the monster and swung my fist into it's jaw.

"OW FUWK MY JAWA! FHAT HURFS WORF TF THA FIME FHE FEXAW FASFARD FICKED MA GUTS!" The thing yelled.

"ENGLISH!" I yelled punching it in the chest.

"THEN STAP HITTING ME YA ASSHOOOOOLE!" It yelled.

"Ky?!" I stumbled back

"...Dustin?" It asked.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!?" We both yelled at the same time. "...JINX!" We both yelled… again.

I looked myself over. "I'm blue, with small hints of red on my hands and near my hooves… not bad… BUT I WANT MY BODY BACK!"

"...Well, There is one upside." I heard kyler say as I looked, and he was looking in his pants.

"What?" I asked confused. "What is a upside?"

"...Look down in your pants dude, I'm sure if it happened to me, it happened to you." Kyler told me as he stood up as best he could. "...oh shit I'm the new jersey devil."

"You look nothing like th-HOLY SHIT!" I yelled as I looked in my pants. _'He's right there is a upside.'_

"...So… we are… what? Horses?" Kyler asked me.

"The head and legs have changed nothing else seems to have, internal organs could have but that would be impossible to find out and we have both gained height." I listed off as I examined myself. "Hair or mane in this case seems to be like our normal hair but longer to counteract our change in head shape."

"...Why is there a streak of red in my… mane though?" Kyler asked, seeing the new streak.

"You wanna talk a streak." I said showing him the massive streak of red in my blue hair.

"...Alright… so, Mind telling me why you have a horn?" Kyler asked me.

"I could make a joke about me being horny but that would be too much of a… point, also you do as well." I said as I reached up and touched the horn on top of my head.

"...MINE'S BIGGER!" Kyler yelled quickly.

"Yours is wider mines longer." I said grinning. "Anyway, where are we?" I stood up… carefully before looking around.

"...I think the woods." Kyler commented.

"We're outside it, barely." I checked my truck. "She's fine, I got about twenty large jerry cans in the back, so we could get pretty far, just gotta figure out how to drive." I gestured to my legs. _'God my back feels so fucking uncomfortable.'_

"Alright, Now, Plan A? And Plan B?" Kyler asked, before he started to try walking, nearly tripping multiple times.

"Well Plan A, we set up camp here gather something to eat." I said gesturing to the forest. "Plan B is… could you give me a second." I took off my leather jacket setting it on the hood of Ruby before I pulled off my T-Shirt underneath. "God that feels so much better."

"...Holy shit you have wings." Kyler told me.

"Okay now your fucking with me." I said stretching feeling Relief spread through my back like a wave. "God that feels amazing."

"...no you actually have wings." Kyler repeated. "And holy shit they are huge."

I opened my eyes and looked to my left and right. "Holy fuck, you weren't kidding." I turned unintentionally slapping Ky across the face. "Sorry."

"...Now I know how vegeta felt in that one animated parody… well, not as bad… but still." Kyler said, probably somewhat scarred.

"You'll be fine." I told him as I tried to get my wings down. "Fuck they won't go down."

"...I'm just going to go practice." Kyler said, before he went back to trying to walk.

"Practice what, you don't have wings." I said as I relaxed my back and my wings slowly went to a normal state.

"WALKING DUMBASS!" He yelled as he kept trying. _'Fuck you ky, I'm more worried about the fact I have FUCKING WINGS!'_

"I'm gonna go practice walking as well, could you help me." I asked as I grabbed my T-shirt and cut two large holes in it. "I need my help getting my wings through."

"Alright, Try and tense up." Kyler replied.

I tensed my back slightly causing my wings to extend slightly. "Alright help me." I grabbed my shirt and put it on until I got to my wings, Ky helped me get my wings through. "Thanks." I relaxed my back and pulled on my jacket. "Twas my shirt causing me discomfort."

"Yeah, Now, Let's try walking." Kyler told me before he went back to trying to walk properly, quickly getting into a… grove if one would call it, as he put himself into a small hunch.

I took to walking like… well walking, a small bit of trouble but I got it down pretty quickly using the weight of my wings to balance myself. "This is pretty easy, then again it's not that different to how the Elites walk."

"Yeah, gotta have a tiny bit of a hunch to move fast though." Kyler commented as he kept walking, speeding up a bit.

I caught up with shortly after. "Hey Ky since I got this down I'm gonna scout around come along if ya like."

"And leave your truck unprotected?" Kyler asked me.

"Ky it's locked the only way in is to break the window." I told him. "And you can stay if you want."

"...I'll go one way, you go the other, we circle." Kyler suggested.

"No splitting up like that is retarded, its best if me and you go, or if just I go." I told him as I began walking in my desired direction.

"Alright, Fine, I'll follow you." Kyler said as he followed behind me.

"So what do you think we'll find?" I studied the land noticing it was quiet green and the trees near the truck were… different. "There is clear biome distinction."

"Honestly, I'm expecting to find a bear at worst." Kyler told me.

"What like a bear that looks like its been crossbred with a bee or wasp and was given a massive dose of Radiation?" I asked as looking forward I saw a massive fuck off bush. "Is that a house?"

"...It's a big fuck off bush."

"No look that massive bush tree thing has windows." I pointed at the structure.

"...oh shit your right." Kyler commented as he just now saw all the windows.

"So do we just walk up and possibly get eaten, head back… or go around and continue on?" I asked looking at the house thing.

"..." Kyler didn't say anything as he just walked towards it.

"You sure thats the best course of action?" I asked lagging behind but still following.

"...Dude, It looks familiar." Kyler told me right as he stopped.

"How so?" I asked as I got next to him.

"...Look, Doesn't it ring any bells to you?" Kyler asked me.

"Is that Fluttershy's cottage?" I asked remembering a small bit.

"That's what I'm thinking… Let's go back into the woods and figure this shit out." Kyler suggested, Remembering something I didn't.

"Why?" I asked following him. _'What does he remember that I don't?'_

"Because, Fluttershy wouldn't help us, She's too shy to." Kyler told me as he turned around. "Think about it, Two strangers show up at your door, Perfectly fine, asking for directions, and your shyer than a Rabbit."

"She wasn't that shy as the series went on dude, There is one way to know what season we are in." I told him gesturing to the path by Fluttershy's cottage. "We head into town, she walks there so it can't be to far."

"Yeah alright sure, but remember she was with Friends, Remember the episode where she hired someone to help her be more assertive and how she went too far?" Kyler asked.

"Ky, I still think we need to find out what season we are in so come with or not." I told him turning heading to the path.

"...Fine fine." Kyler said as me and him walked there.

**Twenty minute walk.**

"Could you stop humming Ora?" I asked as we walked down the path.

"...How could I hum a battlecry?" Kyler asked, Confused as he wasn't even humming.

"Very easily." I told him humming it a few times before going off key. "Little bit hard though, also i was just… fuuuuuck."

"What?" Kyler asked I pointed up at the massive fuck off crystal castle.

"Man every youtuber was right thats really outta place." I said staring up at that. "How did we miss that?"

"...How did we miss that? We could probably see that shit in the woods!?" Kyler let out in complete confusion. "J-JUST HOW!?" Kyler yelled outright, His mind melting from our stupidity.

"Calm down, Someone is staring now." I told him noticing a pony ahead staring at us.

"...Alright, Plan A and B?" Kyler asked, Turning to me.

"I don't have a plan, I've been winging it since the cottage." I told him before the pony approached us. _'Huh orange.'_

"(They are coming, Play it cool.)" Kyler whispered before the pony got close.

"Hello there are ya'll new?" The Pony asked in a clear as there is red on Ruby country accent.

"Um yeah we just arrived." I told the Mare. _'Fuck the voice is familiar but I can't quite remember.'_

"Yeah, we just happened to stumble upon this place." Kyler added. "So yeah, Kinda lost."

"Oh are ya two lookin for ponyville?" She asked adjusting her hat. _'I KNOW THIS BUT I CAN'T FIND THE NAME!'_

"Well, Yeah, We are, Sorry if we seem out of place and just embarrassing ourselves, This redneck next to me just isn't used to humility." Kyler told her.

"I told you we should have taken that left turn!" I faked yelling at Kyler. _'APPLEJACK!'_

"Your the one who wanted to take a right in the first place when we should've went left up the road instead." Kyler fake retorted back.

"Um if you two are headin ta ponyville you just follow this road." Applejack told us.

"Thank ya very much miss?" I asked offering my hand.

"Applejack." she said taking my hand and shaking it very enthusiastically.

Kyler only had a small smile before he put his hands into his pockets.

"Well we are gonna head inta town." I told her as she let go. "Anything you suggest we head to after we look around?"

"Well ah I think ya should go see Princess Twilight Sparkle, she is always happy to greet new visitors, just tell 'er I sent ya." She explained adjusting her hat. "And you could come to my farm if yer lookin fer work, just ask for directions to sweet apple acres."

"Alright, Thank you Applejack." Kyler said for me. "Where is Miss Sparkle located exactly?"

"*cough* castle *cough*." I coughed jokingly as I remembered my hat I still had in my hand. _'Gonna need to get that resized._

"...Dude, I don't know if she is in a meeting or anything like that, Or out of the castle, Seeing the sights." Kyler told me.

"Oh don't worry she is usually found in the Castle as of recent, though don't be surprised if ya find 'er wandering about in ponyville." She told us. "Well I must be off, you two have a nice day."

"You have a nice day yourself Miss Jack." I said nodding as she turned and walked down the path we came from.

"So, Now that we have that out of the way, Ready to meet the bookworm in person?" Kyler asked me.

"Oh shut up dude, you gotta admit your having a slight freak out from the prospect of meeting your former best pony as well." I told him when I checked to see Applejack was out of range. "I mean seriously even though we left the fandom I still do love the show."

"I loved it too, but my top three from the best, Was, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, And Twilight." Kyler informed me.

"I thought Trixie was number one?" I asked as I saw the town ahead.

"She is just best waifu." Kyler told me.

"Alright funny, stop with the talk." I told him as we entered the town.

Kyler shrugged as he put his hood on. "I don't like the looks." Kyler commented, As I just now noticed the looks as well.

"(Ky we just showed up, no backpacks or luggage of course we are gonna get looks… just remember our story is we traveled here but met up on the way here, just encase we say anything that doesn't match.)" I whispered to him as we walked through the town.

"Yeah yeah, I hear ya, Don't worry." Kyler assured me as we could see the base of the tower.

"(wait it actually has guards?)" I whispered to ky since we were a safe distance.

"(Oh crap baskets.)" Kyler muttered to himself as we got closer.

"Hello guards we were told by a Miss Applejack to come see Princess Twilight Sparkle when we got the chance." I told the guards.

"No one May talk to Princess Twilight, She is in a meeting." The guard on the left told me.

"Why must you lie too these two?" The Guard on the Right asked. _'Wait what? So guard one is a asshole?'_

"One of us lies, The other always tells the truth, That is what Twilight has wished." Guard number one. "She wanted it to be like a little game for the fillies and Colts."

"Yes but she did not wish it for Stallions and mares." Guard Number Two told One. "You may enter."

"Your not gonna search us?" I asked confused.

"We already did." Guard number one told me.

"Okay." I said as me and Kyler passed the Guard._ 'Fucking strange… wait MAGIC!'_

"(So, Plan A and B?)" Kyler whispered before I elbowed him.

"Um… so where do you think she is?" I asked trying not to crush my hat.

"Throne room, at best, Bathroom at worst." Kyler told me.

"Um guard do you know where Princess Twilight is?" I asked a passing guard.

"Oh, She's in the Throne room." He told us.

"Thank you… where might that be?" Kyler asked.

The guard pointed further down the hall. "Down the hall, Four doors down, Then go right."

"Thank ye." I said as I began fast walking down the hall. _'God I just want to get something to eat after this.'_

"...So, Plan A and B?" Kyler asked me as we gain some distance.

"Dude I don't even know what your saying when you ask that anymore." I told him as I clenched my fists. _'It's starting to piss me off as well.'_

I stopped at the door. "Alright any regrets before we die?" I asked placing my hands on the door handles.

"That I never got laid." Kyler told me.

"Lame." I pushed the doors open. "Is a Miss Sparkle in here?"

"SPIKE! COULD YOU ANSWER THE DOOR!?" I heard someone yell from deeper inside the throne room. "YES TWILIGHT!"

'_Wow I wonder how different he looks.'_ I thought as me and Kyler entered the room.

"Oh hello who are you two?" Spike said as he came into view. _'Damn looks pretty cool.'_

"My name is… Redmoon, And me and my friend here are new in town." Kyler told him _'Wow, Real original.'_

"Oh then are you here to meet Twilight?" The little drake asked.

"Yes I am, can we meet her?" Kyler asked the little drake.

"Yes, but I've got to warn you she is in a bit of a… fluster?" Spike told us gesturing us to follow him.

'_Still just as tiny as in the show.'_ I Thought laughing quietly.

"Really? How so?" Kyler asked as we followed him.

"I accidently put about twenty books in the wrong section, so she is checking every section." Spike explained to us as we left the throne room towards the library.

"Really? How many books do you guys have?" Kyler asked, Curious.

"A lot we are receiving many more." He explained as we walked down the hallways.

"Really? Geeze, That has to be hell in a handbasket for you." Kyler commented.

"Don't mention it." He said as we reached a set of doors, spike reached up and opened the door.

"Spike, Who was it?" Twilight asked from up on some sort of Second level to the library.

"Two Stallion who are new to the town, they're here to meet you." Spike told her. _'Thats fucking blunt.'_

"Oh? Can you tell them to give me a sec? I'm going through the last section now." Twilight replied.

"Dang how quick is she?" I asked spike.

"Using her magic very quick." Spike explained.

"Really? How quick exactly?" Kyler asked just before we heard footsteps coming from upstairs.

"She has Two-hundred sections." Spike told us as he leaned against a wall. _'This must happen often.'_

"Geeze, And how do you sort them?" Kyler asked Spike, As we heard more footsteps.

"Look alive men." I said kicking Kyler's corpse.

"...Really Dust?" Kyler asked.

"Oh, So your the new Ponies Spike mentioned, And two unicorns as well, Well, It's a pleasure to meet you." Twilight said, With a bright smile on her face.

"Pleasure ta meet ya as well Miss Twilight I'm… Dust Stormer." I said offering my hand.

"Well, How formal, I didn't expect this much formality from someone who speaks like Applejack." She commented with the same smile as she took my hand and shook it.

"Applejack was just as kind ta me." I said holding up my hat. "Sadly my hat don't fit me, so's I couldn't give ya a tip of me hat."

"Oh? A gift from your father I presume?" Twilight asked.

"Ah… yeah last thing he left fore me." I said looking at the hat smiling. "Was looking ta get it refitted."

"And do you have the money for it?" She asked me.

"Sadly no, after dis i'ma head down ta the apple farm lookin fore work." I explained to twilight.

"I'm sure they would be happy to have you help them, Now, Your freind here, Doesn't look suited for that kind of hard labour." Twilight commented.

"Yeah he's a bit of a string bean, weaklin or one might say, cornstalk." I said smiling at ky before looking down at spike. "Wha I can only talk like da city… ponies before I go a little stir crazy."

"Mmmmmm, Let me think, Spike, If I remember correctly we are getting Fourteen more shipments of two-hundred-and-thirty-two books right?" Twilight asked Spike.

"Yes Twilight, how could I forget?" Spike said his tone sarcastic.

"Well, How would you like somepony helping you make sure you don't mess up sorting it?" She asked him.

"Could make the whole thing go faster." Spike said smiling.

"Well since ya'll got this all figured out, I'ma head ta tha farm." I said turning for the door.

"Ya, You do that Dust, Have fun lifting apples." Kyler told me.

"How do ya know, they could be growin pears and shit for all we know." I said closing the door behind me.

"AND DON'T GO RUTTING THE COWS!" Kyler yelled just as the doors closed.

* * *

**Apple Family Farm.**

"So this is the farm." I said as I walked down towards the house. "Pretty good looking, room for improvement and a little automation but they seem to prefer the work harder approach."

I walked up the steps of the house and knocked on the door. "This is Dust Stormer I met Applejack on the road, heard I could get some work?"

"Oh, How delightful, she's making some guy friends now!" A old lady was heard from inside.

'_Lord help me.'_ I thought as the door opened revealing a frail and wrinkly old mare in her chair in the living room. "Hello Miss I'm here bout da job."

"Oh? So my dear Applejack invited a strong, Strapping young stallion to help?" She asked, Eyeing me up.

"Wouldn't call myself strappin or strong… but I am determined." I told the Old Mare in front of me.

"Oh I'm sure even a unicorn like ya self can lift bout as much as my dear little Applejack, Speakin of which, APPLEJACK! WHERE IN TARNATION ARE YA!" She yelled surprisingly loud for a old women, right before comically falling asleep in her chair.

"Damn thats louder than a train comin to a halt." I said looking around, before I heard someone coming downstairs.

"Granny? Ma sis is in the barn." I heard a deep voice say outloud from the stairs.

"Thank ya deeper voice then a ravine." I said turning to jog off to the barn, hopping over a couple fences I arrived at the barn. _'Wonder what she's doin.'_

Soon, I found her, She was in the barn, Bailing some hay with a filly, probably a teen at most. "Well hello there." I said as I knocked on the door. "Haven't done dat in a while."

"Oh, Your here earlier then ah expected." Applejack said before turning around.

"Well better ta be early then late." I said looking around. "So whatcha need help with?"

"Mmm, Well, ta start fer now, ah Need help bailing more hay, While ma sister here goes on to the fields and start getting some apples." Applejack told me.

"Alright, Now I ain't as strong as I look, and though I am a unicorn I have no training or practice in magic." I explained as I walked past… applebloom.

"Oh really? No one taught you at home?" Applejack asked me.

"Mom and Pop were earth ponies, I had no use fore magic when I was colt and Pop nor Mom had any Idea how to Train me." I Lied my tongue becoming sharper then the finest Katana.

"Oh really now? Well, Looks like you'll have to go back to pre school with the youngins." Applejack told me before she went back to bailing hay.

"Nah just as strong as any other earth pony." I said walking over and beginning to help her bail hay. _'Wow I am stronger then I look.'_

"Holy, Big mac on a stick, You really are just as strong as the run of the mill Earth pony, That's really impressive for a unicorn." Applejack told me as she watched me bail hay.

"I may be skinny but I pack a punch." I said smiling as I finished what she started. "Alright how many left."

"Just a couple more and we are good to go get some apples." Applejack told me.

"Alright, let's get to work." I said getting back to work.

"Alright, Come on, Put yer back into it!" I heard applejack tell me.

"My back is already on the floor." I said as I finished this bail.

"Really? Cause I see a stallion who can't bail if his life depended on it." Applejack told me.

"Do you think insulting me is going to work on gettin me to go faster?" I asked as I continued bailing.

"Nah, Ah just expect somepony to REALLY work." Applejack told me.

"I am working." I said as I finished the bail. _'That went quicker.'_

"See? What did ah tell ya? A stallion ta Really work." Applejack said, Hitting my back with the palm of her hand.

"Well I wanna say… that my back hurts." I said popping it. "Better, what's next?"

"Well, Ah need some help with the trees, Mind helping me Buck a few?" She asked me.

"Neva bucked a tree before but I'll try it." I said following her.

* * *

**Ponyville**

**(Kyler's POV!)**

"Wow, Nice town." I said out loud as I walked the streets alone, Taking a nice long breath of fresh air, Hands in my coat pockets as I closed my eyes, head pointing at the sky. _'You know, it may not be all that bad.' _I said in thought as I kept walking, before my eyes snapped open and I began thinking, Trying to figure out what else was from the show. "Huh… Alright." I sighed out as I noticed nothing really ringing much of a red flag or whistle.

'_Alright, Plan A, Find a stable job… damnit me, Why the fuck did I have to make that pun?'_ I mentally kicked myself as I kept walking, going down Random streets. _'Plan B, I try and become a gold digger… yeah no, I'm not fucking the Mayor.' _I said in thought, Trying to think of a new plan. _'Wait, What was that mare's name again? The white one… shit, It started with a R… Rarity, Rarity owns… A clothing shop… Alright, That's a start.'_ I said in my head, not wanting to work in a clothing shop.

"...*sigh* well, it's better then nothing." I said before I kept looking around, trying to remember what the shop looked like, before finding a particular building that didn't fit with the rest of them. "...Alright then, Works for me." I said out loud before I walked towards the building and opened the door. "Hello?" I asked as I walked in.

"I'll be with you darling." I heard a voice say from a room ahead.

"Well, alright." I said out loud as I walked about, looking around, Seeing mannequins in nice simple clothing, But I saw a few away from the windows that were… Less then Elegant and were more on the seductive side with the tops. _'...Is that one wearing black lacy underwear?'_ I asked in through once I saw the ones wearing underwear. _'THIS IS NOT THE SHOP I REMEMBER! I NEED A ADULT… Shit I am one.'_ I yelled in my head before I found a seat and sat down.

"Alright Darling what do you need?" a White mare with purple hair asked as she walked in.

"O-Oh, Hey, I'm new in town and I have been looking around for a job, I was hoping you might have a spot around for a stallion who's new." I said, Putting on a stutter.

"Oh you saw the request I put in the paper?" The Mare asked stepping forward with a certain allure to her step.

"N-No, I-i didn't see the paper." I said, putting on more of a sutter against my own will. _'WHEN THE FUCK DID SHE GET SO HOT!?'_

"Oh thats a shame." She said bringing a finger to her lips biting it gently… before sighing and looking at me. "Well I guess I'll have to explain it to you."

"A-alright." I said, Waiting to hear it.

"Well first you will help me unload and move fabrics, help me judge designs but I won't ask for that often." She said looking me up and down. "And Finally hunt down gemstones."

"...alright, first thing I can do no problem, Last thing, might be a issue." I said honestly, Not remembering how the fuck she found Gemstones.

"I'll teach you a spell you are a Unicorn after all." She said tapping the tip of my horn lightly sending a slight jolt of pleasure down my spine.

"Y-yeah yo-you see, I-i was raised by a Earth pony a-and Pegasus… s-so i-i was never taught." I said, a blush on my face, from the light tap.

"Thats no issue Darling I can teach you quite easily." She said backing away smiling.

"W-Wait really?" I asked, putting a exciting voice.

"Of course, you need to know magic if your gonna work here." She said offering me a hand. "Will I regret this?"

"No, No you will not." I said as I took the hand in mine.

**End of the Day/Nine P.M.**

"You didn't do bad." Rarity said as she walked me to the door.

"...I didn't do good either." I said out loud. "And about my fashion choice, I love comfort, helps me feel relaxed the best."

"I could make you some clothes that would look better and feel just as comfortable." She told me her smile brightening.

"Heh… Could you add in a scarf as well?" I asked, Scratching the back of my head in embarrassment before remembering Dustin's hat. "O-oh, I know someone who might also need their hat refited."

"I'll do it as long as you let me make you a outfit." She said opening the door.

"Sure you can, as long as you make it comfy so I don't have to wear these dirty rags anymore." I said admittedly.

"You have my guarantee." She said as we walked out the door. "Do you have somewhere to stay Redmoon?"

"...Yeah I do… Why?" I asked her.

"I was just wondering because we don't have any open houses that could have been bought." She told me.

"...look, Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I told her.

"Are you sure I don't want you sleeping on the street." She said her tone of voice clearly worried.

"Again, Don't worry, I got trees to sleep in, Not Stone." I told her, trying to lighten the mood with a tiny joke.

"You can stay here I have a guest room." Rarity said gesturing to the second story of the boutique.

"...no, i'm sure you family wouldn't like for you to have somepony random sleeping in your house." I told her.

"No it's perfectly fine, my parents are on vacation and Sweetie belle is having a sleepover with applebloom." She explained. "And before you ask yes I'm sure."

"...well, you got me backed into a corner and I would feel horrible if I didn't take the offer… so yeah… hopefully you won't mind me staying for a bit then." I said, Nervously chuckling as I scratched the back of my neck.

"Lets get you situated." Rarity said gesturing me to follow.

* * *

**Apple Farm.**

**(Dustin's POOOVV!)**

"Alright I think that's the last tree." I said as I wiped a small bit of sweat from my forehead.

"Well, Thank ya kindly Dust, It was a pleasure to have ya around to help out er with work, If ya want, Ah can offer you some bits as some front payment." Applejack told me.

"Nah I'll take payment later, I haven't helped ya enough yet ta be deservin of payment." I said putting on my smile.

"Ah, well, As long as ya are honest, Wanna come inside? We're having apple pie." Applejack told me.

"Sure." I said following her. "So I saw ya wagon isn't in a good shape, what happened ta it?"

"Ah, Big mac done ruined it plowing the fields too rough." She told me. "He wasn't paying attention to what was he was pulling."

"If ya want I could pop on by tomorrow and try fixin it fore ya?" I asked as we passed said wagon.

"Do ya even have ta brains to fix er?" Applejack asked me.

"Ya talking bout someone who can fix some of the finest equipment known to ponykind, Which includes wagon's, plus the wheels are just loose." I told cracking my knuckles. "All I need are the tools to tighten 'er up and somebody to lift 'er while I do it."

"Mmmm, we should have some old Du hickies lying about to help ya wit that." Applejack replied while thinking a bit as we stepped up to the door of the house. "Sum wood 'n ropes should do."

"Well if ya got the materials, I got the brain power to put it to use." I told her smiling as she opened the door.

"Well alright, we should make quite a team." Applejack told me with a smile of her own before she walked in and stepped to the side while holding the door open for me.

* * *

**Next Morning**

**(Kyler's POV!)**

'_...why do I smell… Candy… oh shit… that wasn't a dream.'_ I said in thought as my eyes slowly opened and I saw what Wasn't, My ceiling. "...so, I'm really my old oc… and sleeping in Rarity's place… I don't know how to feel." I Commented to myself as I shifted a bit and got the covers off me and looked out the nearby window to see the sun barely cresting the horizon. "Early morning… great." I said before shifting more and got out of bed, looking around the room to get a better picture of it.

Suddenly there were three knocks on the door. "Hello Redmoon are you awake?"

"Yes I am, and I'm up and about." I replied, trying to think of some sort of plan as to how to live my life in this world… with really no family to help.

"May I come in Darling?"

"Depends, what for?" I replied while adjusting my pants and shirt.

"I need to talk to you about business."

"Sure come in then." I said, Sitting down on the bed to await what this talk is.

The door opened revealing Rarity wearing a Black satin robe. "Good Morning Darling."

"Good Morning." I replied, Waiting for her to… Talk business.

"I got a shipment in this morning, I want you to move it to storage and move a few mannequins from said storage." She said sitting down next to me causing her robe to open slightly giving me a view of… some storage.

"U-Uh yeah sure." I said before getting up.

"Is it to much for you darling?" She asked leaning over a bit and looking up at me, all while giving me a even better look at said storage. _'Thank god this isn't an anime.'_

"W-what is too much?" I asked, Not knowing whenever to Pull out and do my job, or stay a bit longer and be a huge pervert.

"Are you alright?" Rarity asked smiling as she backed up restoring my mental faculties.

"...y-Yeah, I'm alright, I'll get right on the uh… Job to move Mannequins and the shipment." I said before I began walking to leave the room. _'Jesus Christ this lady is trying to kill me.'_

"Oh and Darling?"

"Yes?" I asked, Turning my head towards her and saw her laying on the bed in the pinup pose with a seductive smile.

"Come and get Me…" Rarity's smile changed to a normal smile. "After you finish so I can teach you some more."

"...So many mixed Signals." I said out loud before leaving the room and made my way to the front yard, Seeing the crate, walking outside I made my way to pick it up, Picking it up was a big issue, so I opened it, and grabbed as much bolts of Fabric as I could carry, And began moving Bolts from the Crate, To inside, Then back out, Then back in, Until I got all that was in the crate. "Oh my arms feel slightly like noodles." I joked to myself, Before I walked to handle the mannequins.

"Are you done yet, darling?" Rarity asked now dressed in a similar attire she wore yesterday.

"About to handle the Mannequins." I replied turning to her. "...Nice suit." I commented before walking to go continue my work after finishing it, I saw Rarity beginning to work on one of the mannequins around my size. "...How did you get my size?" I asked her.

"It's all in the eyes darling, plus you are quite a thin thing." She told me smiling normally.

"Heh… yeah, I haven't really been eating as much as I used to." I joked half truthfully.

"Oh are you hungry?" She asked setting her equipment down.

"Yeah, But I should be fine." I told her, lying to myself and her.

"Are you sure you're looking a little… thin." Rarity said gesturing at my arms.

"...ya, yeah i'm sure." I told her, Before falling forward from lack of food, my vision going black.

**Unknown time later.**

My eyes opened as I felt a massive headache, my head pounded in a lot of pain as I did my best to push myself up and looked around seeing I was in the room Rarity had allowed me to sleep in. _'what ju- oh wait, No food… wait then why am i awake now?'_ I thought as I moved to get out of bed before noticing a plate of food on the nightstand.

Moving to look at the food, I started eating the closest food item which was a cupcake, which either because I haven't eaten, or just what was used, Tasted like heaven. _'Yeah, definitely because I haven't eaten.'_ After I finished it, I saw what looked like a burger on the plate. "...huh." I let out, Not sure what to say but I picked it up anyways and began eating it, not caring for what it might contained.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Are you awake Darling?"

It took me a second to process the words and voice, swallowing the unknown contents of the burger I answered. "Yeah, How long was I out?" Opening the Rarity walked in dressed in nightgown.

"Almost the entire day, someone came by to check on you he said his name was… Dust Stormer." Rarity said walking over and sitting on the bed next to me. "Are you sure your okay Darling? you passed out after doing some simple work."

"Yeah, I'm fine, just should've paid attention to my stomach." I answered. "Having not eaten in a while is something I wasn't used to."

"I'm sorry about that, as your employer I should have noticed." Rarity said hanging her head slightly.

"No, it's fine, it's my own fault for neglecting my own body." I told her.

"Yes, well your friend is waiting for you, he said to meet at the wagon." She told me getting up and walking over to the door. "Take a break for the next day, come back healthy."

"Are you sure miss Rarity?" I asked as I stood up and stretched, popping a few joints.

"Of course." She opened the door and with a swish of her tail walked through the doorway. _'...You know, the more I look at it, maybe she wouldn't be bad to have a relationship with.'_ I admitted in my head, nearly saying it out loud.

She poked her head back in suddenly. "Did you say something Darling?"

"N-no I didn't say anything." I stuttered, small blush on my face, I could see a slight smile on her face before she left… again. _'...Jeeze I never noticed she had a nice smile…. Wait, Why was she smiling?'_ I thought before I shook my head, trying to stop the blush before I eat the rest of the food, and walked out of the room, and out of the store, and made my way back to the, Wagon.

After a long walk I came across Dustin sitting against his truck arms crossed and eating a apple. "Great, I'm talking to an asshole." I commented about the apple.

"Been one since I was born." He said taking another bite. "I got us some… bits?" he held up a handful looking them over. "Not that bad lookin."

"Well, at least one of us should have a good paying job." I commented as I rubbed the back of my neck. "...and not nearly starving to death."

"I thought ya were workin for that Rarity girl?" Dustin asked tossing his apple away.

"Yeah, Still haven't been paid yet, not going to ask about it now, but in the near future, Why?" I asked him, Raising a eyebrow.

"Then which one of us has the good payin job?" He asked unlocking the doors and rummaging under the backseat.

"Probably you, Having the more physically demanding job, and what are you looking for?" I asked, Trying to look at what he was doing.

"Stuff we can sell." He said as he pulled out a tire iron and shaking his head before searching again. "Figure we can sell some of the stuff we don't need."

"And what exactly is that?" I asked, Wondering what we would not need at all.

"Well this." He pulled out a length of rope. "No need for this, or a couple of other things."

"Well what else do we have back there?" I asked, Trying to look through the window.

"Couple firearms, three boxes of ammo, vehicle repair kit, and a lot of junk." he said pulling out a small box. "Hello beautiful."

"...Best thing to sell would honestly be one of the firearms, I honestly don't think they would have guns with how peaceful things are." I admitted. "But it would be awesome."

He looked at me as though I had just insulted his own personal morals and god. "Look, Just one, And we could get a whole lot of money." I told him, trying to defuse the situation he just looked back at his truck then me before going to reach for one of the firearms. "Your not going to shoot me, Are you?"

"We'll sell the twenty-two." He said pulling out a small rifle.

"Alright, Now, what if they don't know about gunpowder?" I asked him.

"We didn't tell them where we were from, could say we hid our stuff outside of town cause we were a little distrustin."

"Yeah, but that gets people interested, gotta think of something else just in case." I replied.

"And what do you think we should tell em?" He asked cradling the rifle.

"...That some griffin gave it to you for helping it." I answered.

"And what if the Griffin's don't have Firearms?" He asked raising a brow. "And who says the show is correct on this world?"

"Well, Would you rather say zebras and get Zecora into all kinds of trouble?" I asked the redneck, looking at his gun. "Really, if we get it dirty it would make it more believable."

"Or would ya rather say that I had the weapon and chose to keep it hidden?" He asked.

"...Then wouldn't the equestrian military question you to all hell?" I asked him, raising a eyebrow.

"Doesn't matter I know the firearm through and through… could say that I invented it." He said flipping it around in his hand.

"And then make a fuck ton of money?" I asked him.

"Um… can you even patent something in Equestria isn't it like a eternal monarchy?" He asked looking at me in fear.

"...I don't know." I said, Entirely not fucking sure.

"Maybe we bring this and ask Twilight?" he asked looking at the two other firearms.

"Yeah, We could, but keep in mind, She's Celestia's student, she's going to go right to her about this." I told him.

"I mean yeah but… money." he said pouting at the handful of bits in his hand.

"...Look, We could probably offer this in exchange for some money." I told him, wondering how much this really sells.

"But we wouldn't make as much if we offer it directly to the leaders." he told me as he stopped pouting. "And why sell something for the least possible amount when you could go big?"

"So, Military right?" I asked him.

"Listen lets just put this away for now and do some general work and make a few friends." He said putting the firearm away. "Whew I got money hungry."

"Felt like if you were about to sell your own kid?" I asked him, Smiling a bit.

"If I had one yep, now lets look in this." Dustin pulled out the box again and opened it. "Oh this is the jewelry box my mother gave me."

"Oh hey, Money." I commented as a joke.

Looking through the box he found a black ring and smile at it before sliding it onto his index finger. "It still fits."

"Oh… you still had that ring?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

"My Dad's weddin ring." He said adjusting it as he searched the box. "Got bits of jewelry and a nice lighter."

"Well… pick what you don't want and find a pawn shop." I told him, taking a deep breath. "And I have the day off tomorrow, so that's fun."

"Cool… also a pawnshop? In ponyville?" He asked closing the box and stretching.

"Never know, the show might not have been one hundred percent accurate." I told him calmly.

"Stop quoting me." He said tossing me the keys. "I'm gonna head into town you… do what you want."

"So, Alright… I guess I'll just hang around." I said, catching the keys as he jogged off towards town. "...alright then, guess I should at least try to make friends… could honestly ask rarity if she knows any places to hang out at as well… Yeah, Probably my best option." I stated, Thinking out loud before I moved out to exact my plan.

* * *

**D: Been a while.**

**K: Uh, Yeah, Been a long Fu**ing while.**

**D: Been fun writing something over tho.**

**K: Yeah, like thirty times.**

**D: Still fun tho.**

**K: …yeah, We'll go with that, Anyways, I'm sure they know the drill.**

**D: Yeah I'm sure dick head.**

**K: Like, Comment, and follow… and what else?**

**D: Oh and Help me kick this idiots ass.**

**K: OH GOD NOOOOOOOOO!**


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